"IT ME"

Feb. 20th, 2017 12:47 am
rosefox: "You mean the girls were topless the whole time and I never noticed?" (oblivious)
[personal profile] rosefox
Thanks to a link from [twitter.com profile] tgstonebutch, today I learned about queerplatonic relationships (a term coined in 2010 by [personal profile] kaz and [personal profile] meloukhia) and spent several hours going "WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THERE'S A NAME FOR WHAT I DO". A good primer is here and a post on QP not being "romance-lite" is here. I want to quote both of them at length. I want to hug them. This is amazing.

I'm not aro or ace. But there is absolutely a third category of relationship in my life, in addition to partnership and friendship. I've been calling it "partner-level friends" or "my [name]" because I didn't have a word for it. And now I do. Wow. I haven't felt this seen since I read the relationship anarchy manifesto. (Which is very relevant.)

While discussing this with a friend, he asked how "romantic" was being defined, since both "aromantic" and "platonic" were being defined in opposition to it, and I realized I didn't have a good answer. (Merriam-Webster doesn't either. Their definition of "romantic" points to "romance", which points to "love affair", which points back to "romantic".) After some discussion on Twitter, [twitter.com profile] numbathyal pointed me to this piece by a possible aromantic who asked a romantic to define romance. The definition that came out of their conversation was: "Romance is a natural high that occurs in the presence of certain people, without obvious connection to sexuality, 'good company', or emotional intimacy." That jibes pretty well with my experience, which I described as follows:
When I look at people I'm in love with, my body responds. My heart swells—that's literally a feeling I get in my chest, not a metaphor. My heart rate goes up and I feel a little breathless. My pupils probably dilate. I want to be physically touching the person in some way. I'm SUPER touchy-feely with X and J. Constant small touches as I walk past them. Always sitting as near as I can get.

When I look at people I'm in QP relationships with, I have a different set of reactions. Hardly any physical reaction at all. I do like hugging them, but I don't feel the same urge to be in contact. I get much more of a squee reaction. My brain lights up. It's still something I would call chemistry, but a different kind of chemical reaction.

Things romantic and QP relationships have in common for me: I feel a profound sense of safety. I can relax around the person. I say "I love you" and it's never by rote. I want regular communication of some sort. I feel more myself in the person's company.

All of this is shaped by my tendency toward feeling very definitely like I "click" with certain people. Often upon meeting them. A little alert box pops up that says "You and this person could have something amazing together! Pursue it!". I can tell you the exact moment that happened with both X and J, and with all four of my QP people. So I don't know what "romantic" looks like for people who don't have that zing or sniff test or instalove or whatever you want to call it. I spent literal months knowing I was going to fall in love with J and waiting for it to happen. Had to WD40 the "in love" switch. But it finally flipped hard and has never flipped back. <3

This is also not what my romantic relationships looked like when I was in my teens or 20s. Much healthier now. :) Twenty years ago, desperate longing to be loved and valued was part and parcel of romance for me. Now I love myself.
Some of the useful links that came up in conversation (h/t [twitter.com profile] tgstonebutch and [twitter.com profile] numbathyal):

Sexuality and romance as pet elephants that are invisible to ace and aro people
Limerence and "platonic attraction"
How to write about queerplatonic relationships in fiction (lots and lots of useful links there)
Various concepts of greyromanticism

I was amused to choose "oblivious" as the userpic keyword and have this userpic come up, because at first it seemed totally inappropriate for a post discussing nonsexual relationships. In its original context (Sluggy Freelance, if anyone remembers it), it's being said by a guy who is very into topless women and sad that he missed a chance to ogle some. But I've always used it because I am genuinely the sort of person to not really notice that an attractive woman is topless, because we're too busy talking about other things and connecting on other levels. So maybe it's appropriate after all.

Estrella Prep

Feb. 19th, 2017 08:48 pm
lferion: Per fess azure and argent, in canton triskele argent (SCA_arms)
[personal profile] lferion
I am totally counting making an 18x18 ft ground cloth out of two 12x16 heavy-duty plastic tarps the equivalent of my 100 words for the day. I certainly said at least that many to the thing.

pic behind cut )

The car is loaded with tents and boxes and things, and the roof has all the poles. Will be going in to work very early indeed, working 5-6 hours, and then leaving between noon & one to drive up to site. Gonna be a long day.

(no subject)

Feb. 19th, 2017 10:23 pm
subbes: A screenshot of green text in a black terminal window. This is the default icon for any entry I post from charm.py (bash)
[personal profile] subbes
Oh! An historic flood, with the risk that it may destroy levees that keep our water supply potable. Great.

Not the most productive, but...

Feb. 19th, 2017 10:03 pm
aris_tgd: Sinclair and Sakai, "Time for a moment." (Time for a moment)
[personal profile] aris_tgd
I successfully assembled a few kitchen organizer shelves and two bar stool chairs, and now we have better organized kitchen cabinets and a breakfast bar. Hooray!

I still haven't done barely any grading. Boo.

I played a bit of Sunless Sea and it was... mostly engrossing? But my first zee-captain died (as advertised) and she was the one with the intriguing box from my Fallen London character! That's annoying. I wanted to find out what was in that thing.

Writing remains difficult, sigh. Reality remains terrifying.

But I have enough lunchmeat and cheese to make sandwiches for the next week, and that'll see me through. I hope.

(no subject)

Feb. 19th, 2017 09:22 pm
pearwaldorf: rey from tfa (Default)
[personal profile] pearwaldorf
I probably have a bunch of things to say but it's after 9pm on a Sunday and I did a lot of shit today, so have a cute survey about my significant other/me instead.

Who's oldest? C, by a year and eight months
Who was interested? We both were, but C made the first move.
Same high school? We grew up in different states, so no.
Worst temper? Me. I'm the one who gets cranky and/or anxious meltdowns. 
More social? C. I have become much more misanthropic over the years.
Hardest working? C, by far.
Most stubborn? We're both stubborn in different ways.
Who makes the most mess? Me, although we both let the common areas get super bad together.
Wakes up first? C, because he works earlier. We are both morning people now on the weekends, which is very confusing.
Who cooks the most? C enjoys it more, so he does more of it.
Who cries more? Me. I cry at eeeeeeverything.
Who is the better singer? Neither of us.
Hogs the remote? We don't watch enough live TV that it's ever an issue.
Better driver? C by far, as his insurance offers will attest.
Better cook? C
Smartest? C's quite good at predicting politics, for which I am deeply resentful about, because he's usually right. Also he's figured out things about nanotechnology that PhDs haven't, so I'd say he's pretty fucking smart.
More romantic? We're not really into traditional romantic gestures, but I have always felt cared for in the most important ways.
How long have you been together? We've known each other for 17 years, we've been married for almost 14. (We got married very young, which is a silly story for another time.)

sketch of the day

Feb. 19th, 2017 10:44 pm
yhlee: chessmaster (chess pieces) (chessmaster)
[personal profile] yhlee
Not really a sketch; it's a line rendition of this photo in an interview with actress Megan Boone; I'm not seeing a credit for the photographer.



The proportions are a bit off :/ which is why I will never be a portrait artist, but I was working fast and loose. Also, I cannot even with the FBI badge (or TV fake FBI badge, not like I'd know the difference). Sorry?

Ink: Robert Oster Astorquiza Rot
Pen: Aurora Optima 75th Anniversary

BTW, for the curious, both my Auroras have M nibs. I know a lot of people who prefer F or XF nibs for fountain pen drawing, but I'm finding that when I'm drawing with a firm nib, the bolder line of a European M is kind of nice.

I have now watched all of Blacklist S1 and am wondering whether to continue, because the unrepentant torture quota is...high. :( I get that bad guys will use torture in the course of narrative but when the "good guys" are doing it all over the place it's hard to care about anyone, especially in a modern-day setting.

Why Are They Smiling?

Feb. 19th, 2017 08:19 pm
lovelyangel: Homura Akemi from Puella Magi Madoka Magica episode 5 (Homura Hair Flip)
[personal profile] lovelyangel
Aw, man! Puella Magi Madoka Magica is my favorite anime series… but… I really don’t need to get all the cool collectibles, right? The slippery slope is really, really slick! Homura is my girl, and I’m standing by her. Six scale Homura figurines versus only a single Madoka. (But Ultimate Madoka is the coolest PMMM figurine by far!*)

Then Good Smile Company comes along with a new, adorable Mami Tamoe. Evil, I say. They should go ahead and change their name to Evil Smile Company.

And don’t get me started on Rem! (o.O) Stop it, guys!

—-
*Aniplex is currently trying to outdo the GSC Ultimate Madoka with One of Their Own. Points for capturing a pure Ume Aoki-style rendering for Madoka’s face… but unfortunately, cute Madoka is out-of-place in the Ultimate form. So thumbs down on this otherwise impressive sculpture. (But I should rewatch Rebellion to see if maybe I’ve forgotten something.)
lightreads: a partial image of a etymology tree for the Indo-European word 'leuk done in white neon on black'; in the lower left is (Default)
[personal profile] lightreads
Illuminae

3/5. Is anyone else old enough to remember the documentation challenge from SGA Flashfic way back in the day? That's what this is. A story of two teenagers, who happen to be exes, who survive the destruction of their illegal colony and flee the planet with the evil corporate ships chasing them, but then the zombie plague starts running through their ships like wildfire. Except this is told entirely in documents – interview transcripts, chatlogs, various military files, intelligence summaries, AI data, etc.

This is about 80% extremely effective space horror/fight-for-your-life and about 20% facepalmy teenager terribleness. I do, however, want to pause to say that the commercial audio of this is excellent. It's a multi-voice production, with people playing parts so the chat logs sound like conversations. But the real power of the production is in a few, tiny sections, put in purely for the emotional impact. Like the excerpts from a casualty list near the beginning, or fragments of the messages a couple dozen people we never actually meet send out into the dark when they know they are about to die. The audio bleeds one voice into the next for the reading, so it's just this wall of – yeah. It works.

Much of the book works. It's awful and scary and grim as our heroine begins to suspect she is being lied to, and the plague heats up, and the ship AI starts to go . . . a little weird. But it's sprinkled through with such poor choices. Like blurring out the profanity – it's supposed to be an ironic commentary on the blah blah blah. It's mostly just irritating. And the teenagers are so cringily teenagers. Like, I kept telling myself it was good writing that they're so melodramatic and emo and ridic, but that didn't mean I rolled my eyes any less.

Still. This book got me in the end. The last quarter is so … harrowing is the only word I have. This is what young adult is allowed to be now, after Hunger Games. I do think that massive spoilers for the end )
chagrined: chihaya smiling (chihaya smile)
[personal profile] chagrined
oops it has been a little while! i've been occupied with other things but trying my hardest to not ttly fall off studying too! i feel like esp starting with this chapter i have less solid of a grasp on the material from when i read it in the past so maybe i need to spend ore time reviewing and actually redoing the exercises as well...

ch7 )

A quiet weekend, and a desert turtle

Feb. 20th, 2017 08:55 am
heliopausa: (Default)
[personal profile] heliopausa
Oh, wonderful!  I thought, around about mid-morning Saturday.  The people (who are very pleasant people, I haste to say; it's just that I'm a lazy beast) who were invited for lunch on Sunday can't come!  And thus the weekend suddenly opened to reveal ... what is it?  somethings of vast eternity.  Or a day and a half of free time, anyway.  :) I was cockahoop.

So...  I plucked those cumquats which were ready to fall from the New Year's cumquat tree, and made spiced cumquat chutney - and I made muesli bars, too, to use up some over-ripe bananas.  Went marketing, of course, and accidentally brought home a mountain of lettuce, and much green herbage (because it was past ten, and the market-seller wanted to pack up and go home).  Also triumphantly tracked down cinnamon bark, for the chutney, down a market side-street, and generally had a good time.  :)

And then on Sunday I went to visit an aged friend - that was absolutely great!  She is recovering from a stroke, and it was wonderful to see her so much better, so much stronger.  We just sat together for three-quarters of an hour, and drank water, and talked of nothing much - of planting trees recently, and looking at photos . Not a long visit, because I didn't want to wear her out, but a very, very happy one - it was so good to see her, and to see her so strong.  :)

And I took in various media throughout the weekend:

- watched the 27th episode of Nirvana in Fire, which means I'm exactly half-way through;

- read some of The Bad-Ass Librarians of Timbuktu, which is about very exciting things, but so far is not very well or engagingly written;

- and read some newspapers online, of course, which yielded this lovely story (with picture) of a desert turtle.
  What an amazing creature!  And how beautiful it seems in the picture - to me, at least - gold and emerald.  :) 
  Also, I chortled at a word attributed (wrongly, I'm sure - possibly autotranscription from a recording?) to the herpetologist, which suggested that the turtles are excavating underground - making  a second pleasing picture, of a different, totally imaginary, sort! (But now I've been back and they've fixed it up - good to see journalistic diligence at the ABC.  Unless it was the mortified herpetologist who set them straight.)


The Dark Knight Returns #1

Feb. 20th, 2017 01:57 am
[personal profile] history79 posting in [community profile] scans_daily



A.V. CLUB: So you actually consciously set out to change things in the comics industry?

FRANK MILLER: Well, I set out to remark upon them. And seeing how all these heroes had been castrated since the 1950s, and just how pointless they seemed to be... In this perfect world of comic books, which was what it was back then, why would people dress up in tights to fight crime?

A.V. CLUB: Because there wasn't anything bad enough going on back then to justify that extremism?

FRANK MILLER: It was just a bunch of goofy villains. It was 1985 when I started working on this, and I thought, "What kind of world would be scary enough for Batman?" And I looked out my window.


Read more... )
wneleh: by Mirnell (Default)
[personal profile] wneleh posting in [community profile] as_others_see_us
From Jeremy Binckes in Salon: Just in time for Valentine’s Day, here’s some fan fiction about Donald Trump’s sex life.

For New Statesman, Deborah Cameron wrote the internet was once conceptualised as an “information superhighway”, a vast and instantly accessible repository of useful stuff. But the highway was a one-way street: its users were imagined as consumers rather than producers. Web 2.0 changed that. Writers no longer needed permission to publish: they could start a blog, or write fan fiction, without having to get past the established gatekeepers, editors and publishers. And this also freed them to deviate from the linguistic norms that were strictly enforced in print – to experiment or play with grammar, spelling and punctuation.

The Upstart Brooklyn Label Crafting ‘Fashion Fanfiction’ (Véronique Hyland, New York Magazine).

Fisher/Ford, A Cure for Wellness, POTUS/PMOC, Doctor Who )

From 'Library professor casts away nerves before TEDx event' by Paige Brown for Kent Wired: Marianne Martens, assistant professor of library and information sciences, has been eagerly preparing for the presentation she will give at the first Kent State TEDx event on Feb. 18. Martens will be speaking about fan-fiction and the popular “Harry Potter” website Pottermore in particular.

Dave Rudden told Irish Independent’s Kim Bielenberg I used to write reams of Warhammer fan fiction but my laptop died a non-recoverable death and I lost 80,000 words. I decided then I should stop writing fan fiction - because it wasn't a career - and I should write original work from then on.

Finally, in 'Dispatches from Boskone 54, Day 1,' the Boston University News Service shared that “The Harry Potter Effect” offered fans an hour of rehashing their favorite aspects about the Harry Potter universe, including the books, movies, fan fiction and Pottermore.

(There were also a bunch of references to Fifty Shades's origin, but none were particularly interesting.)

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